She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
