i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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