Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
