nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize