Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
