it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
