if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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