How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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