If i come over, it means nothing
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he thought i was a dude.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
