There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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