yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
