he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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