I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
