they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
