She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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