That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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