I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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