come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
