I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
