I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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