4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
