I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just pee around me
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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