I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
