So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
soo... how was my night?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
