Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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