you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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