i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
