I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
