Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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