question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
