Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think I won the penis lottery.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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