Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
