I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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