Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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