I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize