she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
