I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is wine microwaveable?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
