She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
