Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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