So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
