She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
