You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
