Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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