Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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