I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
