A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
