We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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