Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
