maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
areolas are like halos for boobs.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
