I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
