a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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