i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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