It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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