Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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