I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
