Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
