we have pet lesbian snakes
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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