Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
