my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
