i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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