Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
