508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
