That's intense
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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