I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
its not stalking. its research.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
