who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
