haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
