Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
