I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
