a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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