Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
this is an emotional support booty call
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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