There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
