I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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