I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
