I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
