What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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