For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
