Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
