There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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