Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I believe in your delicious
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize